Tuesday, February 14, 2012

The Vow. . .Translated

So, Hubby and I decided to celebrate Valentine's Day early, something we do every year to avoid the crowds on the most romantic day of the year.  "We" (I) decided to watch what promised to be the ultimate romantic, love-laden, sigh-filled, tear jerker movie of the year, "The Vow". Here was the story of a young married couple, madly in love and just starting their lives together, when tragedy struck. A car accident strips the wife of any recent memories, basically erasing any remembrance of her devoted  husband (portrayed by super hot hunk Channing Tatum, yes please!). You can just imagine what drama unfolds when she considers returning to her estranged family and former fiance, despite overtures of undying love from the desperate now stranger of a husband.  I won't spoil the movie for those who haven't seen it yet, but I was fascinated to find out that the movie is based on an actual couple who went through the exact same thing.

As we sat there in the theater watching Channing Tatum and Rachel McAdams exchange wedding vows worthy of any premium Hallmark wedding card, I turned to Hubby and asked if he would fight to make me fall in love with him again should I lose my memory in a horrific car accident. His reply, "Yeah, I guess so. . .sure, I would fight for you." Hmmmm. . .thanks, hon. Well, in all fairness, that was right after I pointed at the screen and exclaimed to Channing, "I wouldn't forget YOU, brah!" and kept making low whistling noises every time he took off his shirt. OK, perhaps that was bad form on my behalf, seeing as Hubby and I were on our Valentine's date and I should've picked up on the dirty looks Hubby was shooting me but hello, he was HOT!!! I tried to assure my eternal companion that he was hotter but seeing as I was one step away from getting a bucketful of popcorn dumped on my head, I decided to scale back on the screen comments.  

So. . .about the Hallmark vows. This is the part of the movie where every woman sighs and wishes her man wrote those vows about her. This is also the part of the movie where those who haven't gotten married yet are taking verbatim notes.  I, on the other hand, sat there thinking, "yup, that's what we all believed when we first got married." Now, almost 20 years into my own marriage, a little wiser, a little jaded (and a lotta grateful). . .I have my own interpretation on wedding vows. 

Here's my translation of the vows from the movie:

Channing Tatum (Husband): "I vow to fiercely love you in all your forms, now & forever. I promise to never forget that this is a once in a lifetime love."

Translation: "I promise to love you even when you gain 60 pounds during pregnancy, turn into a screaming, weeping, self-professed bloated cow every second week of the month and nag me about picking up my socks until my ears bleed."

Rachel McAdams (Wife): "I vow to help you love life, to always hold you with tenderness, and to have the patience that love demands. To speak when words are needed, and to share the silence when they're not. To agree to disagree on red velvet cake, and to live within the warmth of your heart and always call it home." 

Translation: "I will always love you and I will show this love and improve the quality of your life by gently telling you to get your crap together when you're slacking and by restraining myself from strangling you when you leave the toilet seat up at night.  I will only speak when necessary (which is anytime I feel like talking) and well, if I'm silent, you know you're in BIG trouble. It is an unspoken rule that ANY kind of cake makes me feel better and finally, I must always be the ONLY one in your heart, mind or peripheral vision or you will have NO place to call home." 

It's amazing how women are able to read through the lines like that, huh? 

But in all seriousness, I am a hopeless romantic at heart and, ask my friends, I always believe that LOVE prevails at the end of the day. I want to express my gratitude here (this is where I get mushy, peeps) to my Hubby. Happy Valentine's Day, hon. Thank you for putting up with all of my shortfalls and loving me regardless of the nagging, tears and consumption of copious amounts of cake. Through our ups and downs, this is what I can truly say about you. . .you are a man who loves with his whole heart. A man of few words (which is perfect for me, a woman of too many words!), no written or spoken vow is necessary because you LIVE your convictions and commitments each and every day. 

Enough said. . .go out and enjoy your Valentine's Day, friends! 



  1. LOVE this! I enjoy your humor and expressive writing style. This one especially hit home with me because me and the Hot Man went to the movies on Valentines Day too. Only we went to separate movies ( my idea) He went to Denzel Washingtons latest and I went to The Vow. So I could ooh and aaaaaaaah over the wedding vows...okay lets be honest and over Channing's wonderful self.

  2. Oh Lani, you're a great wife, I'm sure my Hubby would've preferred to watch Denzel! Thank you for the comment and a big thank you to Channing for the many movie scenes where he showed skin. ;)

  3. Defn the bestest parts of the movie...